Friday 15 April 2016

Top 10 Signs you are a Lazy, Bumblin' Knitter



10. You come across a notation you're unfamiliar with, and instead of Googling it you shrug and think "I'll just skip that".  Then stubbornly proceed the knit the rest of the project incorrectly even when your project ends up with numerous holes.

9. You never use needles smaller than a US size 10.

8. You have never, and have no plans to ever, use a pattern that calls for cobweb or lace weight yarn.

7. You've made about 100 000 hats and scarves, but only half of one sweater.

6. You had no idea what it meant to "block" your work for your first year as a knitter. Even though this instruction is on on every pattern ever.

5. You watched one minute of a YouTube tutorial for the Kitchener Stitch and then said "pssh, screw that" and then proceeded to bind off your project and sew it together causing an unsightly seam. (Unsightly because you didn't bother to learn how to seam anything correctly either)

4. Speaking of seams, you hate seaming with a passion and will go out of your way to avoid projects that list a tapestry needle as one of the required materials.

3. You spend a significant amount of money on a fancy artisan yarn, promising yourself you will take care to wind it into a proper ball. Then, when you're about halfway through you think, "whatever, there's not that much left" and then try to hastily wind the rest, resulting in a tangled labyrinth of fibers that haunts your nightmares for months.

2. You never do a gauge swatch. Like, EVER. (No matter how many failed, ill-sized projects you have under your belt.)

1. You start a knitting blog and then fail to update it for over a year.

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I'm back! From tacky purple bed-socks to deformed children's toys, I've been back in knitting action for the past few months, and looking forward to sharing my successes and fails in equal measure. Stay tuned!


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